men's reproductive rights

“If you’re not prepared to be a father then don’t have sex!”

That’s a typical admonishment from feminists when men seek reproductive rights.

Isn’t it strange that we never hear “If you’re not prepared to be a mother then don’t have sex!”.  It would solve the abortion debate overnight.

Instead, we hear that it’s a woman’s right to choose what happens to her body – even if it means the termination of an unborn child.

So, really, why don’t we ever hear “If you’re not prepared to be a mother then don’t have sex!”?

Why is it that feminists push this responsibility so readily onto men while completely divesting women of any responsibility here? Is it that feminists think that women are incapable of taking on serious responsibilities such as these?

The fact that it’s only men who are chastised to ‘be responsible’ for a resulting pregnancy is a clear indication.

In fact, it’s incredible that, in one moment, an unborn child can be considered a miraculous and precious gift of life and in the next moment just as easily reclassified as a disposable piece of garbage in the form of an aborted foetus. How can that be?

So, does feminism truly stand for equal responsibilities? If men are expected to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions …then what about the women?

{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

Richard November 6, 2013 at 8:55 pm

Im new to this whole “blog” stuff, and I can already tell Im not nearly as well spoken as some of you. But in my opinion, the whole thing is bullshit. I wasn’t ready to have a child. I was broke, young, and was told years before that I would never have any by a doctor. But if you’re any kind of man, you will walk through that stuff. Bottom line, you have an obligation to that child and to that woman. Fast forward 8 years… I now have 2 children and am divorced because of a cheating wife that later was convicted of child abuse. My point is, so how, some way, people’s feelings have become more Important than morals. Men don’t want to work, they don’t want to stand up and be fathers. They want to talk about how they weren’t ready. Women don’t want to be care givers because somehow they have convinced themselves that it isn’t rewarding enough. That some how they have been oppressed. That’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Men and women alike are trying to step out of the very roles that once empowered them, and the children suffer, but no one cares about that. It’s hard to argue with success, but they patriarchal system worked for a long time. It had its flaws, and some chose to abuse it. But it is what it is. Im so sick of people talking about their rights and their feelings. Because when your a parent and a husband, that shit doesn’t matter In the scheme of things. What matters I. The success of your family, and everyone has forgotten that. And it’s a true shame

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mike October 1, 2013 at 4:36 pm

Another one I have heard is. You can exercise the reproductive right over your own body by getting a vasectomy. Again this really isn’t much of a reproductive right for a young, single male who would be throwing away any chance of having a child and exercising any reproductive rights in the future. Obviously this is a little more valuable of an option for someone with children already, but still there could be a divorce and the new wife/family might want children etc. My girlfriend literally told me she would break it off if i got one, and understandably, she wants my kids in the future as do I. So men’s choices are to abstain sexually for the first half of their lives until they are ready to have children, or get a vasectomy and throw away your ability to reproduce. All of the other options for men are not perfect by themselves, and beyond that can easily be tampered with intentionally with no repercussion. So the only two options that are safe and ensure the reproductive choice isn’t made for them by the woman at her whim, rational and reasonable or not, are nothing other than sexually repressive, or as feminists would say, ‘ sexually oppressive’.

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John (admin) October 1, 2013 at 8:56 pm

You’ll also find that most doctors will refuse to perform the procedure without the woman’s consent!

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Selphie June 13, 2013 at 2:50 am

This is ridiculous. It’s MUCH more common for people to tell WOMEN to “not have sex” if they didn’t want a baby as a critique of abortion. I cannot count the number of times I’ve heard people say women who have abortions are sluts, should have kept their legs closed, etc. This issue would be solve easily is if women had readily available access to birth control, but people who are against abortion tend to be against that as well. Whoop dee do, why am I not surprised. They’re also working on birth control for men that’s extremely cheap and easy — you get a shot and it lasts like ten years or something?? and then to reverse you just get another shot and bam you can have kids again. God I hope they finish making it soon cause then everyone can just stop their bitching.

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John (admin) June 15, 2013 at 1:16 am

@Selphie, I don’t know what part of the world you’re from, or what church group you may run with, etc, but in the broader western world we have everything from slut-walks telling women how great it is to “be sluts” and to be as promiscuous as they please through to government-funded abortions on demand.

In places such as Australia the government has seen fit for its public health system to pay for abortion pills (more than 95% of the cost) while closing hospital beds due to lack of funds. If a woman decides she’s just ‘not ready’ to be a mother for ANY reason then she can get an abortion on-demand and no one will stop her – confidentiality assured.

If you’re a man and you’re ‘not ready’ to be a father then that’s your tough luck and you’re going to be writing checks for the next 18 years (or go to jail) – and MAYBE you might even get to see your child once in a while. If you complain – that’s when it’s common to hear “well, maybe you should have kept it in your pants!”

Perhaps you could look up the term “deadbeat dad” – this is what men are called when they don’t pay child support. I can go along with that term if we’re talking about a mutually planned pregnancy – but what if it was an unplanned pregnancy and he is simply not ready to be a father – just as a woman may not be ready to be a mother? For men, it’s irrelevant what they want, and frankly no-one cares. They’re expected to shut-up and just do as they’re told. Women have choices – men have responsibilities.

Perhaps every woman who has an abortion simply because she’s ‘not ready’ should also be called a “deadbeat” just as men who are not prepared to shoulder the responsibilities of an unplanned pregnancy? If it’s good enough for men then it ought to be good enough for women too? That’s equality, right?

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Stacey October 14, 2013 at 5:34 pm

I couldn’t agree with you more John! “Male Termination” Should be available for me if abortion is available for women. In where a father gives up his parental rights of said child if he isn’t ready to be a father an as such has no responsibility – financial or otherwise to the child. Parenthood is one huge area where men’s rights suffer incredibly!
Take for instance a mother who doesn’t want the father to have a part in his childs life (in this example there is no lega reason he SHOULDN’T have those rights) So, the mother does a runner with child so unless Dad can afford the excruciatingly expensive legal fees he misses out on the right to be apart of his child’s life. IF the situation is reversed and Dad runs off with the child well he is hunted down and charged because, for some reason mothers have immediate and full rights and fathers have to prove they’re worthy of the task, because of some reason fathers are seen as second class parents, and not fundamental in the life of their children.

Now lets consider this a woman “isn’t ready” but the man who fathered the child IS ready. She can obtain an abortion without even a second thought towards her male counterparts feelings on the matter – to bad for him if he really wants to take on the responsibility and joys of fatherhood – he doesn’t get a say, there is no permission slips for him to sign to say he agrees with the procedure of aborting his baby even though genetically speaking that fetus is equally his – despite the vessel in which it grows. Unlike a fathers inability to exercise his own reproductive rights to NOT CONCIEVE needing his wife’s / partners permission to go ahead and get that vasectomy done even though they might already have X amount of children. A wife does NOT need permission to have an abortion.

If feminism stood for equal rights then just like a man’s rights should not be at the expensive of a women’s. Then women’s rights should not be at the expensive of men’s.

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